Judith Viorst, NEARING NINETY

Judith Viorst, NEARING NINETY

Judith: Milton and I were both married before. We've had sixty years together and three children together and made every mistake and foolish choice and inability to resolve fights in a mature and intelligent way. It's a work in progress. You'll always be a work in progress. We've gotten better and better at it. Actually, COVID-19 is kind of an interesting test. Here we are in the house together. We don't go anywhere except for a walk around the neighborhood. We find that the conversation we started enjoying with each other sixty years ago is still continuing, that we still enjoy reading the papers in companionable silence, and that a glass of his well-selected wine and a nice dinner by me is a lovely way to end the afternoon. We have many, many points of connection. We treasure and protect the marriage. We know that this is something of value. It's what I've called in some writings that I've done, the third thing. It's not about him. It's not about me. It's about this marriage that we are creating together. Sometimes when we're losing a fight or giving in on some issues, it's not, I lost that or I'm compromising. We're feeding the marriage. I think that the marriage as a creation, as something you make together is a very, very valuable way to think about what life is all about.