Brad Montague, BECOMING BETTER GROWNUPS

Brad Montague, BECOMING BETTER GROWNUPS

Brad: I had this thought of what it would be, just cute things kids would share, like the Kids Say the Darndest Things kind of idea of, they said a word wrong and it's silly. There is that where kids are funny and they're brilliant and creative and so hilarious. One kid blew my mind. It was actually a Skype conversation with a classroom. This kid had this very serious look on his face. Then he raised his hand. The teacher said, "Okay, you've got the microphone. Tell Brad." Then he went, "You know, sharks probably aren't afraid of other sharks." I thought, whoa, I've never thought about that. Still, I think about that sometimes. [laughs] When I would pose the question, "What would it look like to be a great grownup? Tell me about a great grownup. I want to be a great grownup, so tell me," they wouldn't skip a beat. They would immediately tell me about somebody in their lives that -- I was thinking it would be them telling me something huge, like somebody who bought them a pony and took them on a giant trip, but it was always little things. It was about the way that their mom would pick them up from school. There was a story one kid gave about going to the park with his uncle and that that was a regular thing. He loved rolling down the hill and making him laugh. It was this incredible reminder that all they want is for the grownups in their lives to see them. Then when I started sharing that, I realized that there was actually neuroscience to prove that, that there was developmental psychology that had shown that that's what helps us grow. The active ingredient in all of our developments is love, and not just one big grand gesture of love, but over time, every day, just little bitty bits of love. For me, it made me show up differently in my house with my kids. It made me, whenever I saw my friends who were stressing out about being parents or saw teachers, to just be able to let them relax their shoulders and let them know, hey, you don't have to be spectacular. You already are. Just your presence of looking them in the eyes and listening is going to change everything.