Alicia: I'm a person who cares a lot about being well-liked. Originally, I wanted to write an Eat Pray Love for likeability where I would do fun things like meditate and go to yoga and somehow release this care I have about what other people think of me. What I learned talking with other women is that even women who don't give a damn feel that they often pay a price for being so brazenly themselves. It shifted my focus to ask why that is and what these challenges are that women contend with. There's a lot of social science research on this. It’s all really interesting. If you’ve lived it, you're like, I don't need the social science research, I know this from experience. Women are put in one of two categories. We’re either assertive. We ask for what we want and what we need. Then we’re punished and told that we’re too aggressive. Or we are warm and kind and communal and all of the things that we expect women to be. Then we are punished because we’re not seen as leaders in our workplace. Women are in this impossible bind where they can either be the things we expect of a woman or be the things we expect of a leader, but we’re told that those two things are mutually exclusive.